The guilt of reaching breaking point

If you saw my post on the 12th Aug then you’ll know that I had grand plans of kick-starting my health, problem is, this just happened to coincide with Poppy going through the most horrendous sleep regression. I’m talking two weeks of maximum two hours of sleep per night resulting in zombie-like parents and incredibly overtired child.

The spell of misfortune started with Poppy cutting her very first tooth (I know, bit of a slow coach on the tooth front!) and knowing that she was in pain I naturally tried anything to comfort and soothe her. Whisking her up into my arms and in to our bed to watch a bit of Peppa Pig whilst administering medicine. Conscious of my husbands 70 mile each way commute I persuaded him to go in to the spare room which only made it easier for me to bring Poppy into our bed.

Then the vicious cycle began. As soon as Poppy made a peep I’d be up and rushing along the corridor anxious that she was waking my husband up then trying anything to calm her down – food, toys, drawing, videos, medicine, food again, different toys. Before I knew it our bedroom resembled a crumb-ridden playroom and low and behold the wake ups came more frequently until they were every hour with me snatching ten minutes of sleep here and there.

No matter how much caffeine I consumed I couldn’t ward off the exhaustion and my daily life was massively suffering. I could barely hold a thought, energy levels plummeted and I suddenly became the flakiest flake in the world.

Then at 5am after a particularly horrific night I am ashamed to say that I reached the limit of my patience. A level that I honestly thought I would never reach. Nothing I did made the slightest bit of difference to the incessant crying and I just couldn’t do it any more. I walked through in to the spare room, practically chucked Poppy on to my husband and walked out.

After an of hour sleep I felt slightly more capable of being a parent again just in time for my husband to head off to work. That feeling of utter desperation was one that I hope to never ever feel again and I knew that I was on the brink for the rest of the day. The only thing to do was to cancel all of my engagements and call in reinforcements in the form of Granny who, at hearing the desperation and dejectedness in my voice dropped everything and was at my door within minutes.

I know that I am lucky that this is the first time I have reached that level and that I had an immediate support network. I honestly don’t know how parents who have set work hours cope. I am literally in awe.

“So how did we solve it?” I hear you cry “You look so youthful and sprightly, there’s no way you are still sleep deprived” Pahaha ok fine, looking at this face no one would ever say that!

After that dark Wednesday morning night approached and the usual nighttime ritual of the babe waking an hour after bedtime started. We went to see if she was ok and the husband thankfully had a little more whits about him and thought enough is enough, as nothing is working lets see what happens if we just leave her.

And you know what? The little bugger went to sleep! Yes she stirred a few times during that first night but we resisted the pull each time and the very next night she slept for twelve blissful hours.

Since then we have been a lot more strict with ourselves and if we think she is teething we will administer medicine in her nursery and put her straight back to bed. No more Peppa Pig binge-watching (slightly devastated about that).

Sleep_regression_1 Sleep_regression

The Twinkle Diaries
Best of Worst

Leave a comment

  1. 4128miles
    September 2, 2015 / 12:43 am

    Aww it sounds like it’s been tough! Don’t stress about it too much and do whatever keeps you all sane. I can’t believe you didn’t break sooner – I just can’t cope without sleep. Thank god for a bit of Peppa Pig every now and again! #twinklytuesdays

    • September 2, 2015 / 8:56 am

      Peppa Pig is my saviour! I actually got to the point where I was laughing out load to it. Not sure if that was delirium or just excellent cartoon writing 😉 x

  2. September 2, 2015 / 8:52 am

    Oh! I know how it feels being deprived with sleep…. Situations will definitely get better as she gets older! #bestandworst

    • September 2, 2015 / 8:55 am

      Oh thank goodness! Feels awful wishing away the time but when they push you that far a speed of years couldn’t come fast enough! 😉 x

  3. September 2, 2015 / 10:00 am

    Oh bless her, and you. We have been in an almost identical situation with our 10 month old. So hard to leave her to cry when her sister is sleeping across the hall. And if it’s not baby waking, it’s toddler! I’m glad your nights are getting better, ours are slightly (?!) since cutting first tooth last week. I think number two is imminent x MMT #bestandworst

    • September 2, 2015 / 9:45 pm

      Oh gosh, now that is a predicament! Do you do anything like use a white noise machine to prevent her sister waking up?
      Hope you have swift teeth production!! Xx

  4. September 2, 2015 / 11:37 am

    I feel your pain it’s so hard to run on two hour sleep a night, but hang in there it does get easier x

    • September 2, 2015 / 9:47 pm

      Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. Really has made me value having a support network so close xx

  5. September 2, 2015 / 12:13 pm

    Oh feeling exhausted is not much fun for anyone.

    We didn’t much sleep until my daughter moved into her own room – I realised that we were all pretty noisy, fidgety sleepers and we were all keeping each other up at night.

    Teething certainly doesn’t help though, does it?


    • September 2, 2015 / 9:50 pm

      It’s so hard to recognise when something needs to change isn’t it as you hope you’re doing the right things. Well done for realising you were all waking each other up! Hope you’re getting better sleep now xx

  6. newmummyblogcom
    September 2, 2015 / 12:22 pm

    I could have written this myself! Though hubby is still in our room and I always stay in the nursery. But we have done similar, no more beck and call, and also I have stopped breastfeeding at night, and now we’re getting 6 hour straight stints of sleep! (Fingers crossed, touch wood, etc etc)
    Hope your good run continues and enjoy that sleep! X

  7. September 2, 2015 / 1:24 pm

    I’ve been there! I have been known to practically ‘throw’ one of our children at my husband too – they really do push us to our limits don’t they?! But it always passes (and then there’s something else to contend with!). Thanks for an honest, open post 🙂 #bestandworst

  8. September 2, 2015 / 3:04 pm

    It’s not called tough love for nothing! Effing hard to do..but worth the rewards. Sending love xxxxx

  9. September 2, 2015 / 9:08 pm

    Having young kids is tough. You overcome one challenge and there will always be another one waiting… seems like you have cracked it though

    • September 2, 2015 / 10:01 pm

      It feels like an endless game of Crystal Maze (showing my age here) with the biggest achievement when you crack the challenge then straight in to the lions den for the next one!! Xx

  10. September 3, 2015 / 11:48 am

    Oh bless you! I have been there and it is tough but have found that at times letting them settle themselves is sometimes the best option, although it is hard!! Lack of sleep makes things a thousand times worse and trying to function after little sleep or unbroken sleep is like torture! Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst hope you’ll pop by again!

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