Seriously, why hasn’t nature perfected a more efficient baby extraction method? Maybe a zip? Or as a friend suggested, grow the baby in a pod in a greenhouse. Slightly Matrix-esque but a hell of a lot more efficient!
When I was expecting baby number one I had a wonderful ‘what will be will be’ attitude towards the birth, as long as baby was healthy then I was very happy to go with the flow. Then came a 36hr labour with back to back baby ending in full extraction team armed with forceps and extensive remodelling of the down below area, followed by three weeks of infections and not being able to sit down for six weeks. Joy of joy.
Honestly I think I could handle the labour again even if this little one is back to back too, I’d just ask for an epidural literally the moment I arrive instead of waiting over 30hrs (seriously, what was I thinking?!).
What scares the be-jesus out of me is the thought of the recovery + toddler. Dealing with the sheer immobility that I was faced with post birth when also faced with carrying/changing/manhandling a very wriggly two year old who is well and truly in the swing of terrible twos and who often requires removal from the path of oncoming traffic whilst mid-tantrum.
Then again, loads of people manage and then go on to have more children so there must be a way of coping or do they all just confine the toddler to a (lockable?) room with Peppa Pig on repeat and a never ending supply of snacks and drinks? I’m seriously considering this. Something else that I’ve seriously been considering is asking for an elective c-section. I know I know, it’s major surgery but at least it’s on your tummy and not your nether regions. This is the level of freak-out that I’ve reached, I’ll literally consider anything.
Anyone have a similar first birth and have a totally dreamy second birth? Pleeeeeeeease say this is the case. It’ll just fly out with no adverse effects to the surrounding area right? 😉
Hi! Right there with you on the worries about a second birth following a 48hr with my first, and no epidural followed by infection. Can’t say how no.2 will be but I can tell you after having had a c section for my ectopic pregnancy, it was the worst experience of my life! I didn’t walk for 4 weeks unaided, couldn’t cough, cry, go to the toilet unaided, had to shower sitting down with help and needed full time help with my son. I hated my first labor experience but I’d choose it anyway over the c section personally. X
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy plus a 48hr labour plus infection! My goodness you’ve really been through the mill.
It’s really good to hear your thoughts on both normal and c-sec. I guess there’s no easy way of them coming into the world but fingers crossed you’ll have an easier time of it second time round too. Sending super good birth and recovery vibes your way 🙂 x
The first birth is the hardest I think, well it was for me. The first baby stretches everything out. My second flew out. I was only in the labour room for an hour or less when he was born. My first was the hardest recovery too – probably due to the long & difficult labour. I have three kiddies so don’t worry – you can do it!! 🙂 #fartglitter x
That’s really reassuring to hear, thank you Becky! That really has given me hope! 🙂 x
I had a c-section with #1 because he decided he wanted to show the world his ass first instead of his gorgeous face, so all the beautiful plans I had for this magical natural delivery went out the door 3 days prior to my water breaking. I am currently expecting #2 (the last one) and I too am wondering how I’m going to wrangle the 2-year-old while trying to care for a newborn, so I’m there with you. I will tell you though that healing from a c-section while taking care of a newborn was no joke. You are very limited in what you can do, and any kind of abdominal movement (including things like sneezing and coughing) feels like your insides are going to shoot across the room.
This pregnancy is already given me a run for my money as I’ve been diagnosed with a short cervix with the possibility of preterm labor and am on modified bedrest (at 22 weeks) while trying to care for a 2-year-old. It’s never ending…
Forgot to add I found you via #fartglitter.
Mine 9lb-er did so much damage on his way out I’m hoping if we have a second it will just fall out when it’s time. Can always hope, right? Is there a friend or relative who can help or you can ship the toddler out to for the first bit? I was shredded but avoided infection so it took about 10 days for me to not worry about sitting down. Pain killers all the way. Fingers crossed you have an easier time with this one.
#fartglitter
You have my utter understanding. I had a very similar birth experience with Bella – back to back/long – did get an epidural in though! – heartbeat flatlined – I haemoraged (no way I can spell that!) infection..I said never, ever again..and asked for an elective c-section for Charlie – on the other side..I had a friend who had a similar birth..went on to have 2 more naturally with no problems at all..I just couldn’t leave it to the lap of the Gods xxx
I have had five children and they were all very different births. I’m not sure that there is any way of knowing what a labour can be like, they really are so different! #fartglitter
A friend recently had her second and after a horrendous first birth (lots of intervention, blood hemorrhage leading to surgery post delivery ) she had booked a c section after lots of thought. Unfortunately baby number 2 had other ideas! He came early and whilst birth wasn’t perfect it was much much better as has her recovery been. She’s currently juggling newborn and 19 month old but doing fantastically. Good luck with your decision – a hospital debrief of your birth can be really helpful and they can help with your birth plan this time!
I was also in labour for 36 hours, but when he finally came it went quick and I had a water birth. I think I was really lucky as despite him weighing an impressive 10.3 pounds or 4,6 kilos, I only had two minor grazes and recovered quickly. Though the thought of going through all of that with a toddler now, does freak me out and I can totally relate. But I’m sure you’ll be fine. Have you looked into hypnobirthing? #bestandworst
Nadia – ScandiMummy x
That sounds like a rather traumatic birth. And poor little poppet with those forcep marks. Your idea of a belly zip made me giggle.
I can’t help with your ‘freak out’ I’m afraid as I only have one child at the moment. But you will manage just fine. The Peppa Pig room sounds perfect. Why not?! Snacks, drinks and entertainment. What more could a toddler want?! #bestandworst
Sounds like you had a really rough time of it. I can’t comment on whether second birth is better, but I certainly hope so- for both of our sakes! 31 hours with a back to back baby and an emergency c-section for me last time (I should have asked them to install a zip while they were in there!). But, despite hearing stories like yours, I’ve sill got my heart set on having a vbac this time- I think I must be mad. Xx #bestandworst
Man that first labour did sound hard for you lovely. I bet it has made you worry a tad!! I think everyone does say second time around is better so fingers crossed for you. I hope you are in and out of hospital and back hope chilling with 2 lovely littlies! Thanks for linking with #bestandworst x